I had reached my own home. Had days and nights with my girl-friend, my good woman, my wife. She walked the last few kilometers with me on my walking trip from Melbourne through Bendigo, to our home in Orange. I might have actually walked 500 miles to her door. I felt very glad. Then somehow I wrecked it up, by shopping for an hour at Aldi's while she waited at home…
After a sleep, just before my alarm went off, I wakened with this understanding, that came as I pulled at and followed, the thread: (thank you for your help creative love)
Oh God, I failed quite miserably, I see,
last night, to soak misunderstanding up
and just keep passing on your love to me,
to who's around me, like a hose or cup.
It's true I sat a while within my own..
my feelings of dis-or-i-ent-a-tion;
instead of running, lashing out. I've grown
3 minutes worth of sitting - not quite patient.
And too, I realized my "tit for tat"
responses were not what you've called me to,
and said I didn't want to kindle that,
but I'd already done it. Trina, you
were patient, and you didn't "take the bait"
which I had, in bad form, thrown in the mix.
I thank you for that sense you've had of late,
not escalating when I try to fix
things up, yet muddy many things much more.
It's like I needed a mis-un-der-stand-
ing to come up, to push my buttons for
the world, and me, to see how things will land
and how true is this love I speak of much.
Well, there I had a chance last night again.
A test, to see if I'm really in touch
with this creative love, I walk with when
I walk Australian roads, another day
from bottom to the top. I'm not strong yet.
But you, creative love, helped me this way,
to see, to call for help, and just to "let…"*.
* the loving creator says "Let… there by light; … there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water; …the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear; …the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds; …there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years; …the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky; … the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind; …us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground.’ Gen. 1:6, 9, 11, 14, 20, 24, 26.
to "let" the desires and hopes and longings of creative love grow within this world - in me.
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